Alutanews brings you this inspiring story/advice by Stephanie Ifemenam, a young female lawyer based in Abuja. Read it below and meditate upon those words (ladies especially):
Few years back,I had this bobo that provided virtually all my needs. What this bobo didn’t do for me were things I didn’t ask for. I had so much money then and also had extra to spend on irrelevant things. I never knew the word”Broke”. Then,I only collect money from my parents(on rare occasions)just to make them feel that they were still responsible for me….the money I would end up dashing my younger ones.
I can make hair very well(braid oo,fix weavons and can even make isi owu),I had a little knowledge of sewing, I can knit very well,I also I have a little idea in bead making,I can decorate,I can plan events very well(ask my siblings or my Group A members in Law school).
I never cared about developing myself in any of the above endeavours because I was so comfortable with the money I got from this bobo. I was always giving myself excuses of not having time in those days to do any of those.
One day,I woke up and found out that this bobo was gone….I was sure I wasn’t going to see him again in life and then my life became a misery.
That was when i woke up to the realities of this life.. Thank God for friends who stepped into my live and took charge… And here I am today.
Let me quickly add that in all this,I wasn’t totally stupid… I had savings.
Now,this story brings me to the essence of this post…..
There are so many young women in Nigeria (especially in Abuja) with unknown sources of wealth,living lives that they can’t afford. They have only ever traveled business class to Dubai but have jobs(or no job) that can’t even afford them a regular flight ticket.
I worry that they will end up like many who define their lives by men(who they can never truly have),crippled by their culture of dependence and entitlement,with desperation in their eyes,who aren’t building anything other than wardrobe and designers handbags on their waist.
Please my Darlings(ladies)… If you aren’t self-sufficient, start working towards it now. Develop yourself in any endeavor you are good at. Don’t always depend on that bobo…Dependence has its consequences,when you are dependent,even your independent of thought is not guaranteed. Moreover, that bobo may not be there again tomorrow.
My own situation was easier because as a lawyer, I was able to secure a job fast even though am still battling with time in between my job to do some of those things am good at… What of you that studied sociology, public admin,political science, with the current unemployment situation in the country,you only depend on a certain bobo. SORRY for you.
What makes a woman desirable is the security surrounding her sexuality and not a woman who thinks the only thing she has to offer is sex.
Don’t always think that because you are a woman in her twenties,attractive, and has her whole life in front of her,that your only bargaining power is “look how cute my butt looks in these jeans”….You will just become boring and less desirable because you are not also competent, spicy and independent.
Build yourself, build your career, provide your basic needs,pay your bills,find love and be happy.